Cue the Awkward Turtle
by Alli Elizabeth
Summary: If anyone cries Mary-Sue at this, they will die a horrible death. It isn't on purpose, and frankly, I don't care. Kidxoc Kidoc Deathxoc Deathoc Rated T for implications at the end. Will very likely be followed by a Soul one-shot.


You peek around the corner, checking to make sure it's safe. 'Did I lose him?'

"Roxanne?"

You half-scream and whirl around, then sigh in relief. "Jeez, Soul, don't sneak up on me like that!"

He smirks, "Sorry. Not like I was trying to. What's got you so on-edge?"

"I've been avoiding Kid for two days now. He saw my new haircut and ever since, he's been chasing me with a pair of scissors!"

He laughs, "Man, that bites!"

You scowl, "You're telling me! I like my hair this way, but he's trying to chop it off!"

Soul's laughing quiets down a little, "Well, I'm going to meet up with Maka and Arielle over on the next block. Good luck with Symmetry-Boy."

"Yeah, thanks. Oh, when you find them, give this to Arielle for me, okay?" You pull a folded note out of your pocket and hand it to him.

"Sure. See ya later, Roxy. And by the way, you might wanna get moving..." he says, pointing behind you.

You look over your shoulder and spot Kid looking around down the street, the scissors in his hand snapping menacingly. Eyes widening, you start running towards your house, "Thanks, Soul!" Your now extremely choppy, short, reddish-brown hair flies around with the wind. You sigh to yourself, 'This is ridiculous! I don't see him chasing Black Star or Soul!' Continuing at a rushed pace, you run homeward for about two minutes until:

_~Look at the sky, as the niiiiight desceeeeends! The rain is crashing down, I've hit another dead end!~_

You groan, "Why now!?" Thinking fast, you dart into an alley and answer your phone while gasping for breath, "What's up, Arielle?"

"Ooh, sounds like you're still running. No luck, huh?" she asks.

"None. Please tell me you have a good reason for calling?"

"I do! I just saw Kid. Soul's on his way, but he called ahead and said he saw you nearby, so Maka and I mislead him. You're safe for a while," she says happily.

You breathe deep, steadying your heart rate. "If you were here, I'd hug you right now."

She laughs, "I know, I take such good care of you. It's all part of the job."

"You love me; admit it," you joke, resuming your walk to the house you share with her.

"Yeah, I guess... But you love me too, so we're even."

"Who are you talking to?" you hear Soul ask on her end of the line.

You snicker, "Someone sounds a little jealous..."

She laughs quietly, "In my dreams. Anyway, enjoy the peace while it lasts! I'll see you at home."

"See ya!" you reply, then hang up, now in a much better mood. You straighten out your shirt and dust off your jeans; both are a little messed up from all the running. You wander the streets for about five minutes before you reach your house. "Finally, I can relax for a while!" you cheer, throwing the door open and stepping inside.

*SLAM*

You spin around when the door flies shut, only to have your hopes of relaxation destroyed. "Oh come on!"

Standing there, scissors in hand, is Death the Kid. He stares at you with narrowed eyes, "Roxanne..." He starts walking towards you slowly. "You've been making me chase you around for two days, and now that I've finally caught up with you..." He stops right in front of you, just staring. Suddenly, the scissors fall to the floor and he drops to his knees, looking up at you with tears in his eyes. "Please let me fix your crooked hairstyle!?"

You blink down at him, "...But I _like_ my hair this way."

He goes bug-eyed, "You LIKE being asymmetrical!? Whyyyy!?"

You sigh, "I like the way it looks, not that it's uneven. Why does it bother you so much?"

"Because everything else about you is perfect! Your hair is messing it all up!" he cries.

You look down at yourself, '...Oh wow, he's right.' Your black and purple-striped shirt has no flaws, and your dark jeans have the same frayed spots on both sides. Your shoes are even dirty in the same places. 'How the hell does that happen?' You look down at him again; he's actually crying into the carpet.

With a sigh, you pick up the scissors and hold them out to him, "Here."

Kid looks up at the scissors, then at you with shining eyes, "You mean it!?"

You half-smile, "Just don't mess it up too badly, okay?"

He grins, taking the scissors and practically jumping up.

You just roll your eyes, standing still and staring at the floor while he starts snipping carefully at your bangs. You listen to his mumbling in the meantime.

"Who did this to your hair? They should be killed for ruining something so beautifully even..." he murmurs. "Honestly, someone as symmetrical as myself could never be with someone whose symmetry was thrown off like this..."

Your eyes widen and you look up at his face, "What did you say?"

He meets your gaze with a blank look. "Well, a person with such attractive, balanced features should be with someone who is also symmetrical," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

You blink owlishly, "...You think that you and I should be... together?"

He goes on cutting at small parts of your hair, "Why not?"

You sigh, "Kid, if you're only saying that because we're both symmetrical, I swear I'll-"

He chuckles, "Of course not, Roxanne." He meets your gaze again, this time with a smirk. "That's just a reason I came up with in case you disagreed."

You feel your face start to heat with a bright blush. "...And you couldn't just ask me out like a normal person?"

"Since when do you like people who are normal?" he replies. He puts his hand at the side of your face and tilts your chin up a little.

You're so focused on how close his face is to yours that you don't notice him move the scissors until you hear a quiet "snip".

Kid smiles slightly, "Perfect." After a slight pause, he goes on. "You know, you haven't given me an answer."

You smirk, "What happens when I don't dress symmetrically?"

He takes a breath, letting out a sigh, "I can deal with _small_ imperfections. I would appreciate it if you could try not to, though..."

You smile a little, "I can try, but no guarantees. And on that note, my answer's yes. Just don't try to symmetrify my house."

He smirks, "No guarantees," and presses his lips to yours.

You rest your hands on his shoulders and kiss back, feeling like nothing could possibly ruin this moment.

"CONGRATULATIONS, SON!!"

You and Kid separate quickly, turning to the wall about two feet to your right.

The mirror hanging there shows no reflection, only the happy expression of Lord Death.

Both your and Kid's faces light up with a blush.

Kid gives him an annoyed look, "Father..."

Lord Death laughs cheerfully, "Oh, please, don't mind me! I'm just so glad you've found someone special! Carry on!"

"NO!! DO NOT CARRY ON!!"

You pale a little, "Oh God, please, no..."

Spirit appears in the mirror, "ROXANNE!! JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!?"

You sweatdrop and sigh, "Dad..."

He gets dramatic again, now with exaggerated tears running down his face. "Maka already hates me; I CAN'T LOSE _BOTH_ OF MY DAUGHTERS!!"

"Dad, I'm not going anywhere..." you mutter. As he goes on rambling, you sigh again, "Lord Death, would you please?"

He nods, then proceeds to CHOP! your father on the head. He then sends the two of you a thumbs-up, "Good luck, Kid!" And with a wave, his image fades away.

You smile over at Kid, "Gotta love your dad, huh?"

Kid sighs, "He has his moments. Anyway," he smirks at you, "where were we?"

You go to answer, but your eyes land on the window, where you notice Soul and Arielle outside, laughing hysterically. You growl, "More spectators."

His smirk doesn't even waver, "Your room is on the second floor, isn't it?"

You blink slowly, then smirk and make for the stairs with him hot on your trail.


End file.
